It is late March 2017, and I am in the middle of Frederik Meijer Gardens with my husband and toddler, who has bilateral clubfeet. I get a call from my OB office. Since I am 22 weeks pregnant, and it is an evening call, I quickly step away to answer. On the other end was my doctor with my ultrasound results – they told me that my second baby boy would also be born with bilateral clubfeet. I instantly began to cry. I then spent weeks down on myself saying, “What is it about me that I birth babies with clubfeet?” With my first child, we did not know he had clubfeet until he was born. Since he had clubfeet, I knew to look for it at my second baby’s 20-week ultrasound. For the next few weeks whenever I felt my little sweet baby boy moving in my belly, I was sad. I was sad thinking that I did something wrong to inflict this pain on him. I thought, “Why me? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I birth healthy babies?”
Then I started to think of my oldest son with bilateral clubfeet and how he runs around like nothing is wrong. So, I changed my way of thinking, made a commitment to seeing this as a special gift, and starting thinking about the team that I needed to build around me to help with my boys.
A positive to this situation that I thought of was that since this was my second child with clubfeet, I already knew a few things. I was prepared for the weekly casting at 2 weeks old, the nighttime braces, the daytime braces, the frequent visits to the orthopedic surgeon, the physical therapy, and all the other challenges. Even with that positive, I knew what I needed most was a team – a group of people who would be there to help me. So, I started building one.
My team has an array of people with different abilities. On my team I have family (my boys have a lot of uncles and TTs) and even friends. On top of that we have doctors, orthopedic surgeons, a physical therapist, an orthotics specialist, nurses, and much more.
Why am I sharing this story with you? As a parent we never know what special gifts and abilities our littles will have. Never look at your babies’ special gifts and abilities as failures on your part but as an opportunity to build an all-star team! Just know that you do not have to manage everything on your own – build a team of those around you.
There is no rulebook or blueprint that comes with parenting. Whether you have birthed a child naturally, you have a bonus baby, or you have opened your home and you are a foster or adoptive parent, you need a team. If you do not have a team yet or you would like to add to your team, reach out to your very own Family Support Navigator at navigation@familyfutures.net. They are here to help you build your team and even join your team. Reach out to us today – we are here to help! GO TEAM!!!
